FAILED AND FOILED

It's gone midnight. I have to be up at 6am. Why am I still up? Why do I want this awful day to continue any longer than it has to?

Today was interview day; my "board", as the powers-that-be decreed these grillings. It had the potential to be my way out; my key to a better, happier, well-paid future. Instead, it turned into a rout.

It was a quarter-past midday when I walked into the interview room. David - my boss -was waiting, together with Michael, his colleague. I shook hands with both before turning to the third man: Marvin. My heart sank.

Marvin scares me. He has done ever since I sent him a perfectly polite e-mail from Bolivia. He wasn't interested in my story. I suggested he should be. Next thing I here I've got on the wrong side of him. Which wouldn't ordinarily be a problem - if it was anyone else. Marvin, though, is the head honcho, a pube-haired, emotion-less workaholic who's seen it all so many times that I sometimes wonder if he must get bored.

He wasn't supposed to be on my board. But he was. His casual indifference was even more disconcerting than his random questions on matters that bore no direct relevance to the job I was applying for.

A few hours later, I received that "withheld number" call that I was dreading. I didn't get the job. They'd given it to a bald guy - intelligent, decent, but bald and untelegenic, nonetheless.

Everything happens for the best, I suppose. But does it? What if it doesn't? If only I had a crystal ball. If only I knew where the next door would open, what decision I should make, what fork in the road I ought to take. I know that would take away a lot of life's excitement. But at least I wouldn't waste my time.