7-LETTERS!
Evil comes in many guises. Dictators, cartoon-mongers and the creators of Big Brother, to name but three. But the other day I looked evil straight in the eye as it pummelled my sorry arse into Scrabble-submission.
The eye in question belonged to Lisa, the girl I'm still seeing, though I'm not sure why. We were at home drinking hot lemon and honey and playing with words. My opening salvo was woeful - I picked up four "I"s, allowing me to put down nothing but the noise a creaky door makes when it opens. As the proceedings proceeded it became clear that the night wouldn't belong to me. In the space of five minutes, Lisa put down two seven-letter jackpots: "epithets" and "courtiers". So I dumped her.
Okay, so I didn't. I would, after all, be a sad, sad man if I ditched a girl purely on the grounds that she killed me at Scrabble. Ironically, I was planning to dump her anyway. But after she gave me a lift to my football match, and then sat in the viewing gallery for an hour, it would have been like shagging someone and then telling them to piss-off.
So for now, I'm stuck with Lisa. Interestingly, she's invited me to a party on Saturday hosted by Michelle, a girl some friends of mine had tried to set me up with the other week. I spoke to her on the phone briefly, but she sounded too Jewish. So I never called back. Now I have to think of a way to get me out of Saturday's party without arousing suspicion.
Evil comes in many guises. Dictators, cartoon-mongers and the creators of Big Brother, to name but three. But the other day I looked evil straight in the eye as it pummelled my sorry arse into Scrabble-submission.
The eye in question belonged to Lisa, the girl I'm still seeing, though I'm not sure why. We were at home drinking hot lemon and honey and playing with words. My opening salvo was woeful - I picked up four "I"s, allowing me to put down nothing but the noise a creaky door makes when it opens. As the proceedings proceeded it became clear that the night wouldn't belong to me. In the space of five minutes, Lisa put down two seven-letter jackpots: "epithets" and "courtiers". So I dumped her.
Okay, so I didn't. I would, after all, be a sad, sad man if I ditched a girl purely on the grounds that she killed me at Scrabble. Ironically, I was planning to dump her anyway. But after she gave me a lift to my football match, and then sat in the viewing gallery for an hour, it would have been like shagging someone and then telling them to piss-off.
So for now, I'm stuck with Lisa. Interestingly, she's invited me to a party on Saturday hosted by Michelle, a girl some friends of mine had tried to set me up with the other week. I spoke to her on the phone briefly, but she sounded too Jewish. So I never called back. Now I have to think of a way to get me out of Saturday's party without arousing suspicion.
posted by David Cohen at 3:28 am
2 Comments:
Oh no! You've got to kick Laura to the curb. Keep your options open for the party on Sat. ..right? You should go. Seriously. And you can always tell Michelle that you never got her message. :)
Sadly, querida, I was the one to call Michelle. But she was so drab-sounding on the phone that I never called her back. As for the party, given that Laura's the one inviting me, I don't think she'd appreciate my turning up and hooking up with another. Cute picture, by the way. DC xx
Post a Comment
<< Home