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It's been more than eight hours since I ate, yet I still feel more bloated than a Kenyan civil servant's coffers. I blame the fruit salad. Apparently, fruit digests faster than everything else, so if you eat it for dessert it sits in your stomach fermenting, bubbling away, producing, er, gas. So now you know!
On the upside, I'm rid of Lisa. I was supposed to go with her to a party this evening; a friend of hers called Michelle - the same Michelle that other friends of mine had tried to set me up with (I spoke to Michelle on the phone, no chemistry, no return call).
To make matters more confusing I had lunch with Michelle's friends today. Very sweet couple: James, lawyer, setting up his own practice makes his own chopped liver; Dina, marketing at posh London store, slim, well-dressed but doesn't like my Argentine leather gloves (they look scaly, she said). James and Dina, it turns out, know Lisa as well.
It all pointed to an inauspicious evening this evening, one which I really couldn't be arsed with. So in order to spare my blushes, I called Lisa and told her my heart wasn't in it. It helped that I have developed a small cough and that I was still a little zonked from night-shifts. It was the most painless dump I've ever carried out; she ended up feeling sorry for me!
So with Lisa out the way, I called Veronica2, the primary school love I'd bumped into a few weeks ago. So bubbly, vibrant and all-round bonkers. True, she does have a rather worrying amount of love for her pet rabbit. She takes it to work every day, straps it into her specially-designed bunny-seat in her car, and then puts it under her desk.
"My friends tell me I'm single because I always talk about my bunny on dates," she confessed. I replied that I used to have gerbils and understood the dynamics of man-rodent relationships. She suggested I might be a fan of Richard Gere. I asked her if Fatal Attraction was banned from her home. She's busy all week and I'm going away for a few days. So we're going to hook up when I get back. Should be wild.
It's been more than eight hours since I ate, yet I still feel more bloated than a Kenyan civil servant's coffers. I blame the fruit salad. Apparently, fruit digests faster than everything else, so if you eat it for dessert it sits in your stomach fermenting, bubbling away, producing, er, gas. So now you know!
On the upside, I'm rid of Lisa. I was supposed to go with her to a party this evening; a friend of hers called Michelle - the same Michelle that other friends of mine had tried to set me up with (I spoke to Michelle on the phone, no chemistry, no return call).
To make matters more confusing I had lunch with Michelle's friends today. Very sweet couple: James, lawyer, setting up his own practice makes his own chopped liver; Dina, marketing at posh London store, slim, well-dressed but doesn't like my Argentine leather gloves (they look scaly, she said). James and Dina, it turns out, know Lisa as well.
It all pointed to an inauspicious evening this evening, one which I really couldn't be arsed with. So in order to spare my blushes, I called Lisa and told her my heart wasn't in it. It helped that I have developed a small cough and that I was still a little zonked from night-shifts. It was the most painless dump I've ever carried out; she ended up feeling sorry for me!
So with Lisa out the way, I called Veronica2, the primary school love I'd bumped into a few weeks ago. So bubbly, vibrant and all-round bonkers. True, she does have a rather worrying amount of love for her pet rabbit. She takes it to work every day, straps it into her specially-designed bunny-seat in her car, and then puts it under her desk.
"My friends tell me I'm single because I always talk about my bunny on dates," she confessed. I replied that I used to have gerbils and understood the dynamics of man-rodent relationships. She suggested I might be a fan of Richard Gere. I asked her if Fatal Attraction was banned from her home. She's busy all week and I'm going away for a few days. So we're going to hook up when I get back. Should be wild.
posted by David Cohen at 8:06 pm
1 Comments:
good luck! :)
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