GAME OVER III
Four days on, the pain has eased. I still think about L. I still wonder if things would have turned out differently had I had more time, had she let me in behind her fortified walls.
More than this, though, I feel confused. It's almost as though I was never there. I'm not in denial, it just seems so strange to think that I went to see someone I went out with five years ago, spent three solid days with her, only to be heartbroken by the same girl, in the same way. It was such a random interjection in my otherwise "normal" life, that I feel detached from it.
Simultaneously, I do feel sad that the fairytale scenario I had in my mind for so many years didn't reach the conclusion I'd longed for; that she didn't see in me what I saw in her.
But I have to respect her decision. I have to deal with it and, given a bit more time, I'm sure I will.
Four days on, the pain has eased. I still think about L. I still wonder if things would have turned out differently had I had more time, had she let me in behind her fortified walls.
More than this, though, I feel confused. It's almost as though I was never there. I'm not in denial, it just seems so strange to think that I went to see someone I went out with five years ago, spent three solid days with her, only to be heartbroken by the same girl, in the same way. It was such a random interjection in my otherwise "normal" life, that I feel detached from it.
Simultaneously, I do feel sad that the fairytale scenario I had in my mind for so many years didn't reach the conclusion I'd longed for; that she didn't see in me what I saw in her.
But I have to respect her decision. I have to deal with it and, given a bit more time, I'm sure I will.
posted by David Cohen at 2:09 pm
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