DON'T BALKANISE MY HEART
I could be on the brink of falling in love with the woman of my dreams..or the greatest folly of my life so far.

For years I've fantasised about jetting across Europe to visit L. I'd arrive at her office with a bunch of flowers, persuade the receptionist to let me go inside unanounced, and then just tap on her on the shoulder and have her melt in my arms.

But now I don't have to. As the three people who read this blog will be aware, earlier this month I took it upon myself to tell L how I felt. I told her everything - that my heart always skipped a beat when an e-mail of hers dropped into my inbox; that I'd been smitten with her for five years; that I'd never met anyone like her and that I didn't think I ever would.

Her initial reply was disappointing but expected. She was with someone; she couldn't invite me to visit, but if I wanted to, I could still come.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said. I didn't want to be a muppet who travels across a continent when he knows he's not welcome.

Then it happened. I came home last night and there was an e-mail waiting for me. It was L. In an uncharacteristically detailed and heartfelt missive, she told me that she does think of me; she does want to see me; and she does want to know if we are meant to be together.

I was gobsmacked. Had I misunderstood her initial snub? Had I blown my one chance of happiness with L, something I'd literally prayed for and cried myself to sleep over?

Not yet. I'm flying to meet her next week. My heart and my head are both in knots. I'm in ecstasy, I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm exhausted. I could be on the brink. This could be it. L and I could finally get together, fall in love and lock lips as the credits roll. Then again, I could be about to be shat on from the greatest height imaginable - I could soon be floored by a massive, heart-breking turd. But I want to do this. I need to do this. If it's meant to be, I know that it will...