INTERVENTION
My best-friend is going out with a non-Jewish bloke, and I don't know what to do.
I've tried talking to her, but it only ever ends up upsetting her and alienating her. I've tried keeping quiet - my silence saying more than I ever could with my mouth open. Now I'm wondering if it might be worth staging some sort of intervention.
You know the thing: get a bunch of her friends and family together, as if planning a surprise party. Then, when she least expects it, hit her with the truth in a bid to make her see the error of her ways.
It would be like in Party of Five when Bailey's alcoholism threatens to tear the closely-knit Salingers apart. They all gather around the dimple-cheeked Scott Wolf and confront him. He responds with some choice lines:
Bailey to Neve Campbell's character: "At least I'm still in school. I'm not the one dropping out here. What are you gonna do, huh? Take a year off so you can get pregnant again?"
But in the end, they wean him off the booze and everyone lives happily ever after. Ahhh.
Before my concern for a friend is misinterpreted, I should point out that she doesn't want to be in the position she's in either. I'm not trying to impose my will on her. It's not my place to do so. But deep down - and even on the surface - she knows she can't be with this person, but somehow is unable - or unwilling - to do anything about it.
Foolishly, I shared my thoughts with her earlier this morning. She was feeling down because work is shafting her and because of her fucked-up love-life. At first, I made her feel better. But when I mentioned the intervention thing - as a joke - she didn't see the funny side. She said I'd made her feel worse. Do I feel bad? A little. But I think friends aren't there just to be yes-men - sometimes they have to tell it like it is, even if that means upsetting someone you care about.
My best-friend is going out with a non-Jewish bloke, and I don't know what to do.
I've tried talking to her, but it only ever ends up upsetting her and alienating her. I've tried keeping quiet - my silence saying more than I ever could with my mouth open. Now I'm wondering if it might be worth staging some sort of intervention.
You know the thing: get a bunch of her friends and family together, as if planning a surprise party. Then, when she least expects it, hit her with the truth in a bid to make her see the error of her ways.
It would be like in Party of Five when Bailey's alcoholism threatens to tear the closely-knit Salingers apart. They all gather around the dimple-cheeked Scott Wolf and confront him. He responds with some choice lines:
Bailey to Neve Campbell's character: "At least I'm still in school. I'm not the one dropping out here. What are you gonna do, huh? Take a year off so you can get pregnant again?"
But in the end, they wean him off the booze and everyone lives happily ever after. Ahhh.
Before my concern for a friend is misinterpreted, I should point out that she doesn't want to be in the position she's in either. I'm not trying to impose my will on her. It's not my place to do so. But deep down - and even on the surface - she knows she can't be with this person, but somehow is unable - or unwilling - to do anything about it.
Foolishly, I shared my thoughts with her earlier this morning. She was feeling down because work is shafting her and because of her fucked-up love-life. At first, I made her feel better. But when I mentioned the intervention thing - as a joke - she didn't see the funny side. She said I'd made her feel worse. Do I feel bad? A little. But I think friends aren't there just to be yes-men - sometimes they have to tell it like it is, even if that means upsetting someone you care about.
posted by David Cohen at 12:48 pm
2 Comments:
True, friends are there to tell you like it is but that doesn't always help. Sometimes you end up pushing the other person away. Well, it's more like, they'll start to withdraw themselves from you. Good luck to your friend. I hope she realizes what is best.
Sweets - so good to hear from you again, my dear. Hope life is treating you well. I'm sure my friend will come to her senses soon. Trouble is, my position is made even more awkward given that my friend still thinks I have a thing for her (you'll have to go back to my December blog for the tragic details). Cuidate. DC xx
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