SUNDAY, BLOODY SUNDAY
What a waste of a day. Dishwasher man stood me up again. Instead of 10am he turned up one, removed the door from my current model and said he'd be back tomorrow.
So that was the morning gone. By the time I'd read the paper and had lunch, it was already mid-afternoon. No-one was around, the weather was foul, and I was so bored that I resorted to playing online poker. I won - $37 for about an hour's toil - so I suppose it was a success of sorts.
Whiling away the hours, though, is not my idea of fun. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those religious fanatics who thinks every hour is precious (it is, but I just don't consciously think like that). But I do have a sense of stagnation - going nowhere even though I have so many things I could, and should, be doing.
Time is overtaking me. Nine months back in this country and I've achieved little, if anything. Delusions of writing a book, building on my experiences abroad or even starting my own business appear to have become just that: a delusion. And I sometimes feel so trapped by own boredom and lethargy that I can't even bring myself to use the time on my hands to do something about it. Perhaps if I were busy and happy I'd be more inclined to do all the things I wanted to do? But then, if I was busy and happy, I wouldn't have the time, or perhaps the need, to do them.
What a waste of a day. Dishwasher man stood me up again. Instead of 10am he turned up one, removed the door from my current model and said he'd be back tomorrow.
So that was the morning gone. By the time I'd read the paper and had lunch, it was already mid-afternoon. No-one was around, the weather was foul, and I was so bored that I resorted to playing online poker. I won - $37 for about an hour's toil - so I suppose it was a success of sorts.
Whiling away the hours, though, is not my idea of fun. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those religious fanatics who thinks every hour is precious (it is, but I just don't consciously think like that). But I do have a sense of stagnation - going nowhere even though I have so many things I could, and should, be doing.
Time is overtaking me. Nine months back in this country and I've achieved little, if anything. Delusions of writing a book, building on my experiences abroad or even starting my own business appear to have become just that: a delusion. And I sometimes feel so trapped by own boredom and lethargy that I can't even bring myself to use the time on my hands to do something about it. Perhaps if I were busy and happy I'd be more inclined to do all the things I wanted to do? But then, if I was busy and happy, I wouldn't have the time, or perhaps the need, to do them.
posted by David Cohen at 11:55 pm
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