SHE MAKES MY DAY
This little ditty is dedicated to Karen the freelance writer from Minneapolis. Before your response to my rodent rants I truly felt that my friend Emms was the only person in the world reading my writings. But you've changed all that. So I thank you, even if your praise of my comic genius was ironic (you live west of the Hudson, so I can only assume it wasn't).
Anyway, Kazza, you'll be pleased to hear that I have some more mouse-filled musings for you today. You see, I'm not one to keep an amusing anecdote to myself. So when I told my pint-sized pal Jeremy about my infestation, he told me about one of your unfortunate countrymen. This from the BBC:
"A US man who threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves could only watch in horror as it ran into his house and set the building ablaze.
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, found the mouse in his home and wanted to get rid of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he was quoted as saying by AP.
Though no-one was injured, the house and everything in it was destroyed.
"I've seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one," Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said."
I can just imagine what was going through Luciano's (nickname, Lucky?) mind:
"That's a good fire, you old coot," I reckon he said to himself. "But I'm out of petrol, so how can I give it that little bit of extra oomph? Hmm. Let me think. Wood? No. More leaves? No. We've got enough of those already. Hang on a minute! Where's that mouse I found earlier? And they say you get stupider with age..."
Nice one, Lucky. Had you been inside the home you would no doubt have been a shoo-in for this year's Darwin awards, which honour people so unbelievably obtuse that they're removal from the gene pool does the rest of humanity a favour.
This little ditty is dedicated to Karen the freelance writer from Minneapolis. Before your response to my rodent rants I truly felt that my friend Emms was the only person in the world reading my writings. But you've changed all that. So I thank you, even if your praise of my comic genius was ironic (you live west of the Hudson, so I can only assume it wasn't).
Anyway, Kazza, you'll be pleased to hear that I have some more mouse-filled musings for you today. You see, I'm not one to keep an amusing anecdote to myself. So when I told my pint-sized pal Jeremy about my infestation, he told me about one of your unfortunate countrymen. This from the BBC:
"A US man who threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves could only watch in horror as it ran into his house and set the building ablaze.
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, found the mouse in his home and wanted to get rid of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he was quoted as saying by AP.
Though no-one was injured, the house and everything in it was destroyed.
"I've seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one," Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said."
I can just imagine what was going through Luciano's (nickname, Lucky?) mind:
"That's a good fire, you old coot," I reckon he said to himself. "But I'm out of petrol, so how can I give it that little bit of extra oomph? Hmm. Let me think. Wood? No. More leaves? No. We've got enough of those already. Hang on a minute! Where's that mouse I found earlier? And they say you get stupider with age..."
Nice one, Lucky. Had you been inside the home you would no doubt have been a shoo-in for this year's Darwin awards, which honour people so unbelievably obtuse that they're removal from the gene pool does the rest of humanity a favour.
posted by David Cohen at 7:31 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home